NHS vs. PGSS

Please somebody explain this to me.

On my third application to the organization, I got into the National Honor Society. The induction was last night, so lately, I've been seriously thinking about the oath they make you take, though quite seriously, there is no way they can make you believe in it if your acceptance is contingent on whether you repeat after the president.

"I, being made aware of the honor which is being bestowed upon me by my acceptance in the National Honor Society..."

Except that no one did make us aware of the honor. Okay, so they made us work at it to get in, and they told us we were accepted, and NHS has a sort of reputation out there that people who have already been through school are aware of. But the fifty or so of us first-time students standing with candles in the school auditorium last night--who told us? What is the honor of which we're now apparently aware? What even is honor?

To me, honor is accepting only that which you have worked for.

Receiving an honor was being recognized for outstanding reading, computer achievement, writing, and creativity in fourth grade out of my entire class.
Receiving an honor wasn't accepting participation trophies in cheerleading, dance, and gymnastics.
Receiving an honor was being picked to go to art camp over the summer in elementary school.
Receiving an honor was being allowed into the gifted program at the middle school.
Receiving an honor wasn't doing well on achievement tests and the subsequent awards with them.
Receiving an honor was being accepted to Alpha writer's workshop and notified as a semifinalists for the governor's school for arts for creative writing.

Receiving an honor was being accepted to the governor's school for sciences, being allowed to learn volumes over the summer and meet a whole bunch of cool people, and in the end, standing up with a certificate of commendation for surviving the five weeks.

Where is the honor in being accepted to the National Honor Society when it is contingent on activities that I'm committed to for other reasons and already being rewarded for? If academics come naturally because of what my parents have taught; if service comes naturally because of my committment to God; if leadership comes naturally because of my committment to myself to be only myself; if character comes naturally because... because I've committed myself to God and He made me to be me--if all these things come naturally and I earn their natural consequences because of them, what is the honor in National Honor Society? Is it just formal recognition from the school for what others have already commented loudly on?

If so, is that such a good idea? If I've already been recognized too much, how is one more "honor" going to affect my perception of myself? I'm so afraid that if I lose an accurate view of who I am, of where I fit, of the measure of how good (or bad) I am and the measure of how far I will always have to go, how am I to preserve that which people recognize? (In other words, what if I get a big head?)

One last thought.

Sitting in the auditorium last night, thinking about what each of the speakers said, thinking of how much work God still has for me, I did not feel half as honored there, among my classmates and those in the grade beneath me, as I did to be sitting at the banquet at the end of Governor's School among ninety-nine incredible juniors and seniors, their families, and our professors. Whereas NHS has an emphasis on continued service, PGSS had an emphasis on learning with a little bit of service. Yet in my opinion, the average govie excelled more in all four areas--academics, service, leadership, and character--than the everage NHS member. Maybe the difference was creativity. Maybe the difference was the pool from which the memberships were drawn. In either case, I will always be more proud and feel more honored to be a govie than a member of the National Honor Society.