Father, Where Art Thou?
Jack finds himself in trouble… again.

“So, class, does anyone know what happens beyond the event horizon of a black hole?”

He rolled his eyes; high school teachers still treated them like idiots. Even Carter wasn’t this bad!

The teacher picked on Matt, one of the football players, who answered, “Things get stretched to infinity and become really small and dense.”

The teacher looked around the room for more answers. “No one else? When objects cross the event horizon, time starts to dilate. This is because—”

“Mrs. McDonald, time dilates long before the even horizon is crossed,” he interrupted, bored and annoyed.

“Jonathan O’Neill, how many times do I have to tell you to not disrupt my class? You’re here to learn what the world knows, not what you think you know.”

He rolled his eyes again. “For crying out loud, I didn’t think my fellow classmates would appreciate if I let you teach it wrong.” Poorly contained giggle arose around him; everyone loved it when he contradicted the teacher and got her off-track.

“Mr. O’Neill, I will not stand your disruptions today. You have three nights’ detention. Now go to the office.” She scribbled some half-legible note on a green piece of paper with the school’s name on it—a “hall pass.”

A couple more snickers let loose before her gaze found the sources. The noise level gradually rose as people began whispering to each other.

Jack grabbed the pass and left, grateful to not have to listen to the Carter-babble any longer. “No, don’t listen to me,” he whispered as he plodded down the stairs by the classroom. “Don’t listen to the guy who had to drop a bomb into an active wormhole to cut it off from a black hole!”

He rounded a couple more corners and swung open the office door to be greeted by the bright, smiling face of the guidance councilor.

“Jack, I thought you promised me you wouldn’t get thrown out of science class again.”

All his hope for a decent day flew down the drain. "Did I? Well, if Mrs. McDonald would teach right, I wouldn't be here."

"Jack, we've been over this before. What gives you the idea that you know more that your teachers?"

*Maybe because I've done this before?* he thought. "My very good friend is an astrophysicist and she told me."

The councilor closed his eyes. "Jack, I think we need to speak to your parents."

He almost laughed, remembering that he lived alone. "Where's Thor when you need him?" he muttered.

"What did you say, Jack?"

He put on his "who, me?" face. "Nothing, Mr. Jones. Just where's the phone?"

The councilor did not look amused, but pointed into his office.

"Oh, right, thanks." He found the black "phone of doom" and dialed the number for the SGC. "Colonel O'Neill, please?"

A few seconds later: "What, Daniel?!"

He lowered his voice. "Colonel O'Neill, this is Colonel O'Neill."

"Oh, sorry." He heard a squeak as the leader of SG-1 sat back at his desk.

"Um, the guidance councilor wants to speak to my parents. Somehow, I don't think he'll buy that I live alone."

"Good. Danny's been bugging us with his rock stuff, so Carter and I will be right over."

"Great."

*******

Ten minutes later, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter walked into the office in quickly-changed civilian clothes and sat down with Jack in the dreaded guidance office.

"Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill, I presume?" Jones asked.

A moment of silence passed before: "Uh, not quite." "Actually, I'm Samantha Carter." "No!"

He appeared puzzled for a moment. "Would you happen to be the astrophysicist Jonathan has learned so much from?"

Carter frowned and glanced to the two Jacks. "Uh, I never knew they--he--was listening."

"I see. The probem is that he repeatedly disrupts class by contradicting his teachers."

"About what?" Carter inquired.

"Oh, you know," young Jack replied, "black holes, faster-than-light travel, wormholes, all the stuff I know more about than she ever will."

O'Neill and Carter shot him a collective glare. "Will you please excuse us?" the colonel requested, his voice turning towards anger.

"Now, sir, there's no reason to be upset. He's a bright kid, but he doesn't know where to stop."

"Exactly," replied the elder Jack.

Councilor Jones leaned forward slightly. "We're not here to punish Jonathan any more than he already has been with his three nights' detention. I'm just going to suggest that you expose him to other genres besides science fiction."

Meanwhile, the Jacks leaned together and kept their voices down. "What did you say?" SG-1's leader asked.

"Not much," Jack Junior replied. "I didn't say that any of it exists, just that it could happen. It's not like I went into Carter-babble or mentioned anything."

O'Neill looked wary. "Oh. Okay. That makes everything better."

"I know you don't believe me, but you can trust me as much as you trust yourself."

O'Neill's brows furrowed, and he looked just plain doubtful. As the Jacks broke up, Sam shook her head, verifying that the councilor had been listening to whatever she was saying instead of them.

"I guess that's everything," the councilor remarked. "I must say, Jack, that you bear a remarkable resemblance to your father."

He shrugged and replied, a hint of bitterness in his tone, "Imagine that."

*******
I hope you know that I like you guys a lot or else I wouldn't have just gone through and deleted three characters before every quotation mark or apostrophe in the first half and edited the program's errors with spell-check in the second half.