For all y'all who I told to come here to get your part, here you go. It's a little messed up here, but I could possibly give you the stinkin' script on paper. 'Cept for who I have in mind for Dantien and Baka, but that can't be helped.

HOT PINK: THE PLAY
Characters:
Dantien Pindar
Jess Cadyue
Janua'dar
Baka
(Everyone else) CTC/nurse/Amak

Dantien: (ent. RC x C, looks around at pinkness, horrified. Turns on heel, runs out)

(Jess & Janua ent. UL, ent. Dantien UR)
Dan (still horrified) Janua, did you see the crew cabin? (She nods, motioning to Jess) How could Baka do such a thing? And why pink, of all colors?
Jess It's a definate change from the dark blue...
Janua I vote to have Baka moved into the storage closet.
Dan I second that vote. He can start packing right now!
Jess (lowering gaze at two "mutineers") Not gonna happen. He's not going anywhere near the storage closet unless you want to chance finding spoiled rations for supper. (Dan & Jan stare grudgingly.) But I'll get him to repaint the walls. Meanwhile, why don't you sleep in the rec room?
Jan I call sleeper sofa.
Dan Why do you always get it?
Jan Because you're helping Jess land when we get there.

FLIGHT DECK. AN ALARM GOES OFF. DANTIEN TURNS IT OFF, JESS TURNS IT OFF AGAIN.
Dan It's already off.
Jess It is, isn't it? (eyelids droop; she's almost asleep)
Dan Maybe Janua would like to land us. You want to sit in a passenger's seat?
Jess Nods, collapses in passenger's seat, immediately falls asleep.
Dan Guess you are tired.
CTC Incoming ship, this is Coruscant Traffic Control. Please state your destination.
Dan Vornskr to traffic control, please hold on just a moment.

REC ROOM
Jan (sleepily) What's wrong now?
Dan Jess fell alseep; I've never flown before.
Jan You've navigated intermittantly for three years. There's no reason you can't land with Baka's help. Good night. (exit UL)

DINING HALL
Dan Baka
Baka (jumps, spins around) Yeah, what's up?
Dan You're going to get some experience in the cockpit today. You need to come up and help me land.
Baka (stares in disbelief, jaw drops) You're going to let me fly?
Dan Jess fell asleep and Jan told me to let you navigate.
Baka (enthusiastic) Let's go.

FLIGHT DECK
CTC Do you need assistance? Is there some way we can help? Hello?k
Dan (dropping into copilot's seat) Vornskr to traffic control. We're just fine now.
CTC Are you sure?
Dan Yes. We'd like to land in the palace district.
CTC (pause) Uh, transmitting landing coordinates now. Nice and easy. Have a nice day.
Dan Thanks.
Baka (begins to sit in pilot's seat) So I get to fly after all?
Dan (switches seats quickly) No.
Baka Why not? You've never flown before either.
Dan I've seen Jess land us several times.
Baka (loud) What if you're not half as good as she is?
Dan (intent on trying to land) Don't wake her up! I'm going to have to be. (both bump in seats)
Baka Jess is better at landing.
Dan Yeah, well, you'd do even worse. (Staring at landing platform.)
Baka Now here's the tough part, right?
Dan No, now's the part where you be quiet so I can concentrate. (both sink suddenly in seats, people run up on apron) Great, I fly the ship and they send a medical team to see what's wrong.

OUTSIDE THE SHIP
Nurse (running into Dantien) Where's your pilot? Does he need help?
Dan I'm him, and I'm fine. I've never flown before.
Nurse Are you okay?
Dan I'm fine, really.
Nurse Will you come with me, or are you certain you're not injured? Is there anyone else who can verify you're okay?
Baka (struts in, innocent voice) It really is his first time flying. I've never flown, either, but we were the only ones available to land the Vornskr.
Nurse (looks dubious) If you don't feel good, don't hesitate to go to the med center. (exits)
Dan Bad day. Bad day. Bad day.

IN RESTARAUNT: CAR'ULORN'S KAVSRACH
Jess They said what?
Baka She suggested that he go to the hospital. They must have thought he was having a heart attack.
Jan If anyone else was awake, they might have had one from what I hear.
Dan (embarrassed) Has anyone seen the new holodrama, Jolinar, yet?
Baka (stands up) I'll meet y'all back at the ship. (All nod and distractedly acknowledge him. He exits.)
Jan I have. I think they could have picked a better actor to play Jolinar.
Dan I don't know. I thought he was pretty good. What'd you think was wrong with his performance?
Jan His performance was fine, but in the book, they described him as being... cuter. (All girls nod.)
Jess Oh, yeah! (all finish, drop coins on table, stand up, and leave.)

OUTSIDE
Jess (looking at empty parking space) He took my speeder!
Jan Now how're we gonna get back?
Dan We can't exactly walk thirty kilometers to the spaceport. Jan, stick out your thumb.
Jan No way!
Jess Just do it! (Jan complies, speeder pulls up.)
Amak Jettoz. Nockneez.
Jan Let's go. (All get in.)

IN SPEEDER
Jan Zanki.
Dan You do know what he's saying, right?
Jan You don't? (to Amak) Tuz de ju mugee hyperspaaze?
Amak (laughs) Noza, dopeelya puka. (Jan smiles)
Jess What are you saying?
Jan He's driving so fast, I asked him if we were going into hyperspace. He said no; it's only an in-system rental.
Dan If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were drunk.
Jan (smiles; to Amak) Meez noza batza bazic.
Amak Where to?
Jan The spaceport.
Dan (whipering) What'd you say to get him to switch to basic?
Jan (likewise quiet) 'I know you speak basic;' you almost have to know it on Coruscant.

BACK AT SHIP
Jess (patting pockets) I left the keys in the speeder.
Jan Great. We might as well go back.
Dan Wait. (Goes to docking port)
Jess Why? What are you doing?
Dan I can break in.
Jess Great, so somebody will see us breaking into my ship and report us. And because the three of us will be in prison, we'll rely on Baka to get us out. Great plan.
Dan Then go back if you want to. (picks up scraps of metal; Jess leaves)
Jan Now what are you doing?
Dan Hold these over the sensors while I open the door.
Jan I see; you're tricking it into thinking there's a ship trying to dock.
Dan Yup. (enters code into keypad, opens door)
Baka (from offstage) Don't move! (enters) Oh, I thought you guys were robbers.
Jan Baka, where have you been?
Baka (guilty-looking) Just... shopping.
Jan You took Jess's speeder... to shop?
Baka Dantien, buddy, help me with this box, will you? (points to big box)
Dan (glances to Jan, who suddenly looks intimidating) Sure... (they exit with box)

FLIGHT DECK
Jan Where do you think Jess is?
Dan I wish I knew.
Baka I bet she's been abducted by aliens.
Jan That's ridiculous.
Jess (through comm) Jess Cadyue to Vornskr. Come in.
Jan Janua here. Where are you?
Jess Out and about. Listen, I need you guys to deliver that cargo we picked up on Naboo. I have to do some things here.
Jan Gotcha. We'll leave now. Vornskr out.
Dan & Baka Who's going to fly?
Jan I am.
Dan What gives you the idea that you can fly this thing?
Jan The Starfighter Academy.
Baka You went to the Starfighter Academy?
Dan Why didn't you land us?
Jan I was tired. Besides, going down, the space you have to make mistakes decreases. It increases when you leave.
Dan You're kidding, right? You're not that bad of a pilot... are you?
Jan I haven't flown since we were testing your odifications three years ago.
Dan We barely did any flying then!
Jan Exactly. (Starts to fly.)
Baka (eyes wide) Don't hit the...
Dan Skyscraper! (Baka & Dan sigh, watching the building go past.)
Jan Vornskr's not as aerodynamic as what I used to fly.
Baka (shakily) A-and what w-was that?
Jan Y-wing.
Dan At least the Vornskr's faster in space.
Jan Yeah? It's a Y-wing's missle's speed you have to worry about. That's all you'd have to outrun.
Dan Not if you have good shields.

A WEEK LATER. REC ROOM.
Dan Jess, it's so great to have you back!
Baka You pilot so much better than Janua! (thinks of something, hurries away)
Jess You're still alive.
Dan Barely.
Jan (indignant) I'm not that bad of a pilot.
Dan That's what you think. Probably the reason you're not still in the Starfigher Academy. (Jan, shocked he'd say that.)
Jess Actually, she kept shooting to the right of the targets.
Baka (re-enters, dragging familiar box) Hi, all! I hope you don't mind, but while Jess was on 'vacation', I got ya each a little gift. (opens box, passes out hot pink clothing.) Hope they fit!
Jess Hot pink?
Jan We'll blend into the crew cabin like a husky on Hoth!
Dan It's going in the bottom of my drawer. (Baka, sad no one really likes it. Jess & Jan nod in agreement.)